ZAS: Redefining Normal
by trecebo
Summary: Just whose definition of Normal does Pegasus follow anyway?  ZAS fun to be had by all.


**ZAS: Re-defining Normal**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, I only play and return when finished. Also: minor Spoiler for Sunday, if you know what you are looking for.**

**ZAS: Re-defining Normal **

_**nor-mal**__ (nor'mel) __**adj**__**-1**__. Conforming to or consisting of a pattern, process, or standard regarded as usual or typical: natural. _

Radek woke with a start. Groaning, he rubbed the right side of his face, willing the keyboard pattern to quickly disappear, least Carson... He clenched his eyes tightly against the sudden wetness.

"Dr. Zelenka? Are you in here?" Eric Purcell stuck his head in the lab. "Dr. McKay is looking for you."

The Czech scientist gave a quiet nod. "What else is new, right?" His laugh sounded shallow even to his own ears.

Purcell shrugged, continuing on his way. "He said it was urgent, and your ear-com was off."

Muttering in his native tongue, Radek stood slowly, stretching his weary body. _What woke me?_ He heard no alarms, heard no yelling, and all the Ancient devices in the room hummed quietly in the background. _Is strange._

Giving a final crick to his neck, Zelenka did little more than stumble down to McKay's favorite lab. "Yes, what it it, Rodney?"

Grinning widely, the Canadian scientist turned to his friend. "What happened to you? I mean, you normally look a bit...disheveled but this–" he waved his hands vaguely in the Czech's direction. "Although, I do see you've managed to pull off the Sheppard bed-head 'do once again."

Radek blew a puff of air, using a monitor to view his hair and fix it. "You said it was urgent?" Sarcasm tinged his scratchy voice.

"Did I? I distinctly told Purcell that it was urgent he find you, since your com was off, but we only wanted to know where you were." He began his customary pacing whilst launching into lecture mode. "Elizabeth wants us to begin taking scheduled days off and I figured since we've been working so hard lately–"

"You go. I'll cover for you," mumbled Zelenka. He moved behind his station, typing as he went. "If you tell me what you are working on, I will try to keep up."

Rodney rounded from the end of his pace, finger wagging. "Uh-uh-uh. I've scheduled **you **first."

"What diagnostic are you...is what?" Bright blue eyes widened as brain cells scrambled to keep up with McKay's words.

Smug with his generosity, the Canadian draped an arm over his friend's shoulder. "**And **I persuaded Colonel Sheppard to make sure your day is un-interrupted." The door whooshed open revealing Ronon.

Several colorful Czech invectives slipped out, causing snickers from passing scientists. "Rodney," came the plea, Rs heavily accented with sheer exhaustion and disbelief, "I must protest. This is not right."

"No, this **is** right. For once, we might have a normal day, and you, my friend, will enjoy it." McKay pushed Zelenka out the door, shooing him down the hall. "You can't come back until tomorrow...after lunch."

"But–" The door whooshed closed, leaving Radek to face-to-face with the Satedan. "This...is not my day."

"I hear ya, Dr. Z." rumbled Dex. A twisted smile snuck across the big man's face. "McKay has his moments."

Rubbing his cheek, the Czech nodded. "Unfortunately, this is not a moment I wish to have." He stumbled towards his quarters, hearing the heavier footfalls behind him. Glancing back, he managed to toss out, "You don't have to do this, Ronon. I can make it to my room."

Dex raised both brows in amusement. "I'm sure you can, but I'll tag along, just in case."

Two transporters and five minute later, Radek unlocked his door, fairly drooping on his feet. Ronon propelled him inside, aiming him at the bed. Dreads shook with silent laughter as the Czech fell, asleep before he hit the mattress.

_**Normal:**__ adj. __**1.**__ The unexpected; breaking patterns, becoming natural._

* * *

_**2**. __**Psychological**: **A**.- Well adjusted: without marked or persistent mental aberrations. **B**.- Of average skill, intelligence, etc._

Ronon leaned against the wall, across from the door. Sheppard had assigned him to 'keep an eye on Dr. Z so Rodney will stay off my back' and that's what he intended to do. Some would think it a waste of time, but he'd already sharpened eighteen of his hidden knives and found a new way to hide another one. Plus, there were sixteen ridges in the tile pattern of each tile.

He shifted his weight, standing on one leg, bracing the other on the wall behind. He watched the traffic in the outer quarters corridor, noting the ebb and flow. There was no tension in the air; everyone seemed...relaxed. No, that wasn't the right word.

"Hey, Ronon!" Major Evan Lorne called from the entry to the hall. A few quick strides had him even with the Satedan.

"Major." Hazel eyes regarded Sheppard's 2IC.

Lorne blew out his breath, forcing himself to relax. "Sorry to intrude on your 'watch', but I needed to get away from Dr. Kusanagi for a moment, while she is in the shower. This whole 'Make your scientist take a day off work thing' is weird."

"Hm."

"I mean, I know our scientists are the best and brightest, but sometimes I wish they could be a tad more normal." Evan rubbed his temples. His com beeped, causing a groan. "At least you got Dr. Zelenka. See if you can't get him to show you his still." The major took off in a slow jog, listening to the nattering voice on his earpiece.

Ronon thought about what Lorne said. "They are the way they are, I guess."

The empty hall seemed to agree.

_**Normal:**__**2**__. Psychological: __**A**__.- Adjusting the best they can: with marked or persistent mental aberrations categorized as flashes of genius. __**B.**__- Of above average skill, intelligence, etc._

* * *

_**3. **__**Chem. ****A. ** Denoting a solution containing one gram equivalent weight of solute per liter; used as a unit, as two normal , three normal, etc. **B. ** Denoting a hydro-carbon having a straight, unbranched chain of carbon atom; normal butane._

His ear-com beeped. "Dex."

"Ronon, is Zelenka still there?" Rodney's voice sound tiny in his head.

"Yes, McKay, just like you wanted."

"Well, I need him to answer a question for me, and his earpiece is still in the lab."

He could almost hear the whine. "McKay, you wanted the man to have an un-interrupted day. That's what he's going to get."

"Now see here, you big lug, I need him to–"

Ronon tapped his com off, knowing full well, Rodney would talk to Sheppard. His com beeped again. "Dex."

It was Rodney. Again. "Ronon, I know you take this seriously–"

"I do." Off went the com. Now, Sheppard would definitely come find him.

Beep. "Dex."

"How's Dr. Z?"

"Sleeping." Ronon walked over to the door, ear to the metal. "I don't think he's moved since he crashed."

"Good." He heard the smug tone in John's voice. "Make sure he stays that way until he's ready to get up."

"Got it."

_**Normal: 3. **__Chemistry: Pretty sure that __**might **__apply to the still..._

* * *

_**4. **__**Math. **Perpendicular._

"You know, Rodney, if you'd just let your fellow scientists help every once in a while, you might not have to do everything," John leaned against a console, watching his friend pace.

"Yes, yes, I know, you say that like it's easy. Only it's not." Frantic hands clutched at mussed brown hair. "Since I know most of what's going on, it's just easier for me to do it."

Sheppard sighed. "Still, one of these days..."

"Don't! Just...don't go there," McKay wheeled, his face set. "I've made preparations for that. Zelenka knows most of what's going on, and how to get the information on what he might not know. Which, by the way, I really need to talk to him about now."

"No, Rodney. You gave him the day off, remember?" Amused brown eyes glinted at the Canadian. "Besides, you wouldn't want him to think you couldn't handle a few hours with him to bounce your ideas off of, now would ya?"

"Yeah, right. I knew you'd try that tack. Ha ha. Very funny." Stopping at one of the monitor stations, he typed in several commands. "You know I can access his quarters from here. I can simply call his room." Blue eyes threatened, narrowing at the military man.

"Yes, I know," Sheppard smirked. "I also know that Ronon is right there and won't back down without a direct order from me." Arms crossed, John watched Rodney wilt.

Refusing to be defeated, McKay tried another avenue. "Listen, even he tried to tell me this morning. Something about..." those lightening fast fingers waggled, "that it wasn't right."

Eyebrows rose then. "Not right?"

"Yes, not right. As in, not normal, not right."

"McKay, the man was functioning on two hours of sleep over a four day period. Something might have been 'not right.' Mainly, Dr. Z." Sheppard stood, frowning at the scientist.

"It's not my fault he felt he needed to single-handedly try to solve the primary sub-routine malfunction relating the medical diagnostics database without telling me." Sniffing in disdain, Rodney rushed over to another monitor. "If he'd asked, I could have helped."

"See, that's the thing. You don't ask for help, so Radek didn't ask for help. He didn't want to add to your list of things to get done."

"That's silly. We always work things out. We're like train tracks, a sort of matched set, only my track is longer. He's catching up." Holding up a hand, he stalled Sheppard's coming comment. "But, it's his slightly different perspective that comes in handy."

"Train tracks, Rodney?"

_**Normal 4.**__ Mathematics: sometimes parallel._

* * *

_**nor-mal** (nor'mel) **adj. **1. Conforming to or consisting of a pattern, process, or standard regarded as usual or typical: natural. 2. **Psychol. **A. Well adjusted: without marked or persistent mental aberrations. B. Of average skill, intelligence, etc. 3. **Chem. **A. Denoting a solution containing one gram equivalent weight of solute per liter; used as a unit, as two normal , three normal, etc. B. Denoting a hydro-carbon having a straight, unbranched chain of carbon atom; normal butane. 4. **Math. **Perpendicular. –__n. 1. **Math. **A perpendicular: esp., a perpendicular to a tangent line or plane at the point of tangency. 2. The common or natural condition, form, degree, etc. 3. The usual or accepted rule or process. [Funk & Wagnalls Standard Desk Dictionary, Volume 2: N-Z. Copyright 1984_

Radek awoke to sunlight streaming in his window. He didn't remember getting to his quarters, nor getting on his bed. But, he felt rested, if nothing else. A quick shower and change of uniform had him out the door, only to be met with the amused grin of Ronon.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you." Zelenka gave the man a curious look. "Why are you here?"

Dex stood straight, concern taking over. "You don't remember?"

"Not sure. Was tired." Blue eyes were clear, yet puzzled.

"Dr. McKay gave you the day off. I made sure you had it."

The Czech scratched his head, messing up his careful brushing of earlier. "I seem to remember something like that. Something..." He snapped his fingers. "I must go to the lab right away."

Ronon didn't know the little man could run so fast. He caught up easily, setting the transporters to take them directly to the main work areas. "What? What is it? Should I call Sheppard?"

"No. Is something I found in Ancient database. I need to find it before McKay does." Radek ran full tilt into his personal lab, anxiously pounding on the keyboard. "Come on, come on. It is here, I know it." Data scrolled by at an alarming rate, most of which he ignored. "Yes. Here it is."

"What is that?" It looked like gibberish.

"I found an Ancient children's dictionary. It was in the database I was accessing to repair a sub-routine for Keller in medical." He pushed his glassed tighter on his nose. "Rodney is always complaining how things never seem to get to normal here. I was merely trying to find the Ancient definition of normal."

Curiosity piqued, the Satedan leaned in. "Well?"

"The closest approximation is this: No-rem-al: what you come to understand as the way things are, will always change, since change is the way things are."

"How does this relate to your saying something wasn't right yesterday?" came a voice from behind them. Both men turned to see Rodney standing there.

Zelenka stammered, "I...I was not myself at that point."

"I know. That's why **you** were the first to vacate. Now, it's my turn." He plunked down his ear-com and stormed out. "And don't try calling me. I won't answer. I get a normal day off, too!"

Glancing after the Canadian, Ronon nodded. "I give him five minutes."

"You're on."

THE END


End file.
